Horror Haiku

4/6

2007-04-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Teddy got an A.
Chem class curve ruined, again.
It's cyanide time.

4/5

2007-04-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

The park's tallest slide.
Skittish Natalie waivers.
Karl pushes her off.

4/3

2007-04-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sixty-four colors
help little Chad draw pictures
of his dead mommy.

Another riff on a recently explored theme. (see Back from the Dead)

4/2

2007-04-02T15:12:00.000-07:00

Our Autumn leaf tour.
Pretty reds, yellows and browns.
Missed the "Bridge Out" sign.

3/31

2007-03-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

Book of Fantasy,
pull me into your pages!
Um, that's a big orc...

Eh, I can't quite get this one to work. I'll try another.

Naughty craigslist post.
Sleazy hotel. Keep lights off.
A morning peek...Sis????????

3/22/07

2007-03-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

Finally, true love!
Gentle night of sweet passion.
Hmm, this rash looks new.

3/18

2007-03-18T12:25:00.000-07:00

A fish's lament:
Chewy eyeballs are missing
from the severed head.

3/15

2007-03-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

Sweaty hand twists knob.
Tears pour down Dewey's young face.
When pa calls, you come.

3/14

2007-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

That smell is awful,
but finding the source might be
worse than just dealing.

3/13/07

2007-03-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

Victorian Scene:
Meat pie man feeds an orphan
to other orphans.

Back from the Dead?

2007-03-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

After killing mom,
artistic girl fingerpaints
red flowers on wall.

Faves So Far

2006-07-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

Creepy/Gross

Old Mrs. Stephens
filled her dog with potpourri
weeks after he died.

I can't fall asleep.
Oak eyes stare, evil knots grin.
The walls are watching.

Abandoned baby
befriends maggot family
in local dumpster.

Mr. Underbed:
He always eats their toes first.
This way, they can't run.

Morning. Where am I?
I can't seem to find my clothes.
Or my arms and legs.

Tentacled menace
creeps down the backstairs and waits.
The girl drifts to sleep.

When grandfather died,
the old books went to wee Tim.
Shame they did not burn.

Brown hairy spider
crawls inside dreaming boy’s mouth.
Lay a thousand eggs.

Thick beard, crooked teeth,
malice enough for murder
and he's not yet six..

Funny

He keeps some loose change
behind his bloodshot eyeballs
Convenient. Jangly.

New merry-go-round.
Indian burial ground.
That's just bad planning.

Not suprisingly,
the eulogist's erection
caused a comotion.

Pity a plumber.
The bulimic cannibal's
toilet broke again.

Oxygen masks fall.
People cry and pray aloud.
Won’t finish Shark Tale.

Awake now, but where?
Dark, cramped...my favorite suit?
This doesn't look good.

This gorgeous white gown…
Nice guys carry me uphill…
Wait...is that lava?

No date for the prom.
Found ancient jar in basement.
Unleash scourge on school.

Dirty

You can have hot sex
without setting her on fire.
But that's not for me.

Tears of joy stream down.
Finally she’s a woman.
The wolves smell her blood.

It came from the wood...
stunk up town, ate all the pets,
and nailed our drunk mom. (aka if ET were directed by Peckinpah)

An English boy asks,
“What’s in my granny’s knickers?”
She’s asleep. He peeks…

She does such nice things
for small pieces of candy.
I’m a lucky man.

6/16 ~ Friends and Family

2006-06-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Still trying to get me some mojo back. Thankfully, my friends came up big this week. We have loads of excellent contributions from Peter and one tasty nugget from Eddie the GAT.

Peter blesses us with:

"It's all fun and games
'til someone loses an eye."
What if they lose both?

Jerry had a dream
that he ate a suckling pig.
The dog is missing.

Laughing, dancing clowns.
Sledgehammer executions.
A fine line between.

Safari Park trip,
car windows open, nice breeze.
Hungry monkeys wait.

Sunshine, no more pain.
Birds, blue sky, a warm embrace.
And then you wake up.

Van-driving stranger
looking for a lost puppy.
Helpful kid gets in...

A drill bit will bind
if forced too quickly into
kneecap of Girl Scout

The trouble began
with the porno and the rope.
Dead, with dick in hand.

She sings me to sleep,
not so much with lullabies,
but desperate screams

Bad way to find out
hamsters don't taste like chicken.
Mom, are you okay?

Wild spastic movements
behind the wheel at high speed...
Ex-Epileptic

And Eddie, despite the protests from his lovely wife Heidi, tells us this tale of a Neverland BBQ gone wrong:

Captain Hook in angst.
Corn on the cob, but no floss.
Nerve dangles from gum.

Riffing off of Ed, I contrive something really vile (and not particularly imaginative)

Peter drinks too much.
Salacious leering at Tink.
Pan fucks fairy dead.

6/15

2006-06-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

Popped a couple pills.
Took trip to magical land.
Woke with head in bed.

6/14

2006-06-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

So we dropped the bomb...
But no mutants or monsters?
Where's the fun in that?

6/13

2006-06-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

The road less traveled
will often time play host to
decaying bodies.

6/12 - Back for Real with a Muthafucking vengeance

2006-06-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

Here's a bad idea:
Leaving newish abortions
outside in the sun.

5/18

2006-05-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

Old Mrs. Stephens
filled her dog with potpourri
weeks after he died.

5/17

2006-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Once every month
she stuffs a squid inside her.
Blood and ink mix well.

5/16 "Crane's Lament"

2006-05-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

I may see morning!
Must...ride...across…that…old...bridge.
Shit, pumpkin got me.

5/15

2006-05-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Bullet train derails.
Passengers scream...long fall down.
I smell lots of poo.

The Terror Returns

2006-05-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

I realize its been over two weeks since my last haiku. Dealing with myriad shitstorms at the moment, but I think the worst has past.

I'm going to post a best of April list, but, while I'm working up the energy for that, I thought you might like to read some new haikus.

Daily posting resumes Monday.

Princess rubs old lamp.
Ends genie's primeval sleep.
He’s not what she thought.

Strong tequila buzz.
Gringo swallows worm with pride.
It gnaws to freedom.

Quiet balding man
attends school dance recitals.
No one knows his name.

Psychic teenager
wished she’d never discovered
What they thought of her.

Club gets double booked
Frat party, Morrissey night.
Melee leaves ten dead.

Atop the mountain,
uncovered ancient secrets.
Won’t be used for good.

4/28/06

2006-04-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

I suppose I have
skeletons in my closet.
A fleshy corpse, too.

4/27/06

2006-04-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

You can have hot sex
without setting her on fire.
But that's not for me.

4/26/06

2006-04-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Abandoned baby
befriends maggot family
in local dumpster.

4/25/06

2006-04-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Smoker runs in heels.
Killer's got Nike Air Max.
You can do the math.

4/24/06

2006-04-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

Pity a plumber.
The bulimic cannibal's
toilet broke again.

4/23/06

2006-04-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

New colors for spring?
I should probably update
my necklace of tongues.

4/22/06

2006-04-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

Burn unit sex play
involves even more green pus
than one would have thought.

4/21/06 Friends and Family

2006-04-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Brendan L. contributes this dandy...it actually made me feel sick. An accomplishment.

The boy's corpse lies prone.
His eyes gaze up to the stars.
We spoon nude, in bed.

Jesus, Brendan.

On a lighter note, i'd like to add:

Exhilarating!
My freefall back to Gaia!
Um, chute's not working!

Yasmin Tasan returns with a concept that makes Ford Theater, 1865, seem like a run through the ball pit at Sesame Place.

Opera audience
sits and enjoys the singing
Pavarotti fires.

and

East River glistens
Shall we go for a quick dip?
Hey what's that floating?

and

Up in the attic.
She keeps all her old photos.
And her old boyfriends.

4/20/06

2006-04-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

A merry-go-round.
Indian burial ground.
That's just bad planning.

4/19/06

2006-04-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

He keeps some loose change
behind his bloodshot eyeballs
Convenient. Jangly.

4/18/06

2006-04-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Not sure what to wear.
Can't be my favorite suit.
Stains won't come out.

4/17/06

2006-04-17T20:22:00.000-07:00

It came from the wood...
stunk up town, ate all the pets,
and nailed our drunk mom.

4/16/06

2006-04-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

She learned the hard way
that the source of certain sounds
should never be sought.

4/15/06

2006-04-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

Baby boy in jar.
A succulent centerpiece.
Ties room together.

4/14/06 The Return of Friends and Family

2006-04-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

The always amazing MPS delivers...she's so clutch!

what a cute kitten.
but its teeth are strangely large...
it's biting my neck!

riders on the train
making their way home from work
doors close forever

And I provide...

Think for a moment!
Who would you want to eat first
if the sun blew up?

When does a tickling
officially cross the line
and become creepy?

4/13/06

2006-04-13T17:14:00.000-07:00

Not suprisingly,
the eulogist's erection
caused a comotion.

4/12/06

2006-04-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

My sister would say
horrible things in her sleep...
About what I'd done.

4/11/06

2006-04-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

She always noticed
the most curious creatures
In Nana's moustache.

4/10/06

2006-04-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

It was a bad idea.
Easter egg hunts and bear traps...
They just don't mix well.

4/9/06

2006-04-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

Yummy bug salad.
It goes down easy enough.
Then crawls right back up.

4/8/06

2006-04-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

When he arrived home
He thought the mess on the floor
was a pizza slice.

4/7/06

2006-04-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

OK, so friends and family have been lax.

Bad news: I'm exhausted and uninspired, hence the lousy haikus this week.

Good news: JW turned me onto Japanese horror comics that totally rule. I'll be writing more about these later, but they're providing some good gooey brain food.

Best news: I think I just got a lil mojo back...here are two that go back to vile gross out basics.

Tra la la la la
It's like picking fruit from trees!
But they're fetuses.

Gurgle-glug-gurgle
That colostomy milkshake
really hit the spot.

4/6/06

2006-04-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

One caterpillar
Won't metamorph and fly high.
He'll grow large and feed.

4/5/06

2006-04-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

The bodies I take...
They're not sins against the dead.
Rather, prayers for life.

4/4/06

2006-04-04T19:51:00.000-07:00

Cloven-foot hipster,
with your posh suit and sly grin...
Must work in ad biz.

4/3/06

2006-04-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

Fierce oak tree monster
lures children with tire swing bait.
Ring the dinner bell.

4/2/06

2006-04-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

Morning. Where am I?
I can't seem to find my clothes.
Or my arms and legs.

4/1/06

2006-04-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

He fell from the sky.
We named him, fed him...loved him.
And he still ate mom.

3/31/06

2006-03-31T17:10:00.000-08:00

No friends and family this week ~ have been on vacation.

Tonight's the big night.
I think we're gonna do it!
Why are his friends here?

3/30/06

2006-03-30T08:03:00.000-08:00

Undersea treasures!
Ten fathoms down, precious life…
What just cut my tube?

3/29/06

2006-03-29T14:10:00.000-08:00

Sweet-cooked love powder,
I’m lost in your Dream Kingdom.
Map to Xanadu?

3/28/06

2006-03-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

Mr. Underbed:
He always eats their toes first.
This way, they can't run.

3/27/06

2006-03-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

Toys in the window!
Mommy look! Mommy look! Mom?
Who are you, mister?

3/25/06: The First Month of Horror Haiku

2006-03-25T20:02:00.001-08:00

I'm surprised I've managed to keep this going for a month. When I reviewed the 30-35 I've written from February 25-March 25, I only found a couple I thought were poorly conceived.

Phew.

A few things strike me about my output so far:

1. What I'm really aspiring to is the experience of the "elongated paintings" at Disney World's Haunted Mansion. Check them out.

When you enter the Haunted Mansion's foyer, you see several portraits depicting generally pleasant scenarios. Slowly, the pictures elongate, exposing a more macabre truth.

That's pretty much my world view. :)

2. I've been all over the map. Necrophilia, granny-philia, murderous stuffed animals, virgin sacrific, Lovecraftian monsters, infanticide, cannibalism, infanticide by cannibalism, godlessness, greed, plane crashes, car wrecks, unfulfilled dreams, insects, pedophiles, quicksand, being buried alive, menstruation, domestic violence, arachnids, homeless guys, loneliness and voodoo...

I think that about covers it. I'm scared I'll run out of topics...oh, that reminds me! There are a couple in there about failure, too.

3. There are some in the "Faces of Death" - style. Just straightforward descriptions of a morbid scene. I think that I'll stay away from this type ~ while evocative, they're witless and, by nature, I think successful horror haikus need to either a) have some wit to them or b) strike an emotional truth.

Otherwise, it's just 17 syllables of snuff-ku.

4. A lot of them have sex.

Yep.

5. I think I'm OK at writing these, but I also discovered that my friends are all pretty damn good. Thank you all for your submissions for Friends and Family Fridays. Remember, those that slay together, stay together. Also, most of the haikus start with a fear of my own, or a fear that a friend has confided in me. So please, all of you, alert me to your deepest darkest fears, your inner turmoil...it helps me craft these things.

Plans for Horror Haiku in April

I'd like to add some links to horror blogs and friend blogs, get a better URL to direct to blogger (one without the blogspot, although horrorhaiku.com is taken), and do a bit more advertising and promotion. I'd also like to read some of the Japanese Horror comics that my friend J.W. Hastings says are similar to these haikus.

So finally, here are my 5 favorite from the first month.

I can't fall asleep.
Oak eyes stare, evil knots grin.
The walls are watching.

Tears of joy stream down.
Finally she’s a woman.
The wolves smell her blood.

Oxygen masks fall.
People cry and pray aloud.
Won’t finish Shark Tale.

Awake now, but where?
Dark, cramped...my favorite suit?
This doesn't look good.

An English boy asks,
“What’s in my granny’s knickers?”
She’s asleep. He peeks…

And my favorite submission from a friend:

Margaret Mary Kilcourse presents...

Jane's blindfold tied tight;
Tommy and the boys grab knives.
Party games are fun.

Horror Haiku returns on Monday. See you in April...fools!

Braccia

3/24/06 -Time Off

2006-03-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I'll review the first month of Horror Haiku, select a Top 5, a Friend's favorite and establish goals for the second month. I look forward to hearing your comments and concerns.

Sleep tight,

Braccia

3/23/06

2006-03-25T11:02:00.000-08:00

Cower in basement.
Pray God protects our mother.
Daddy just got home.

3/22/06

2006-03-21T20:44:00.000-08:00

Gentle buzzing bees.
God’s most elegant yeomen…
Ouch! Now…they …sting…me!

3/21/06

2006-03-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

She prayed her hardest.
But just because she’d asked Him
didn’t mean she’d live.

3/20/06

2006-03-20T06:48:00.000-08:00

I can't fall asleep.
Oak eyes stare, evil knots grin.
The walls are watching.

3/19/06

2006-03-19T09:28:00.000-08:00

I felt generous.
Gave a homeless guy a buck.
And now he won't leave.

3/18/06

2006-03-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

Dearest Diary,
Still no boyfriend. What to do?
I'll make one from parts!

3/17/06 - Friends and Family 3

2006-03-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

Madame LaRue observes...

Night comes quickly here
and daylight…almost never.
Unfurl and begin.

Andrew Cambria dedicates the following to T. Treadwell...

Chest cavity rots
as grizzlies pick the bones clean.
Who needs protection?

I ponder...

Lower intestines
Populated by green worms.
They eat when I eat.

3/16/06

2006-03-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

A promising youth
But time passed; no love or luck...
Now, grey and withered.

3/15/06

2006-03-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

This gorgeous white gown…
Nice guys carry me uphill…
Wait...is that lava?

3/14/06

2006-03-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

A few hours left.
All the loved ones stand nearby.
They want my money.

3/13/06

2006-03-13T14:09:00.000-08:00

The old mortician
mounted the young woman’s corpse.
Her eyes stayed open.

3/12/06

2006-03-13T06:35:00.000-08:00

Drink the chicken’s blood
and what you wish will be so.
That’s Gran’s recipe.

3/11/06

2006-03-11T11:57:00.000-08:00

A baby, stillborn?
Vitamins and minerals!
Somebody say grace.

3/10/06 - Friends and Family 2

2006-03-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

Amanda Kleinberg ponders...

dirty pigeons soar.
She sips her diet soda.
What's a pandemic?

Yasmin Tasan celebrates her 23rd birthday tonight and brings us...

Birthday balloons wave.
Bozo's teeth are stained with blood.
Where's the birthday girl?

and...

Walking down the street
She sees something red and bright
King rat took his chance.

and...

Lovely afternoon
Frisbees fly high in the park
Aliens take aim.

Christa Imbriale anticipates...

A late night at work
Parked cars stretch out in long rows
He's crouched by the Ford.

Margaret Mary Kilcourse explains...

Jane's blindfold tied tight;
Tommy and the boys grab knives.
Party games are fun.

I imagine...

Tears of joy stream down.
Finally she’s a woman.
The wolves smell her blood.

3/9/06

2006-03-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

A teddy bear cries
as more sinister toys plot.
The boy dies tonight.

3/8/06

2006-03-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Awake now. But where?
Dark, cramped...my favorite suit?
This doesn't look good.

3/7/06

2006-03-07T16:26:00.000-08:00

No date for the prom.
Found ancient jar in basement.
Unleash scourge on school.

3/6/06

2006-03-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

Ancient marsh waters
Bubbles pop, the surface calms.
Fingers slip under.

3/5/06

2006-03-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

Oxygen mask falls.
People cry and pray aloud.
Won’t finish Shark Tale.

3/4/06

2006-03-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

She does such nice things
for small pieces of candy.
I’m a lucky man.

3/3/06 - Friends and Family

2006-03-03T07:07:00.000-08:00

The first week of terror is near complete.

Each Friday I'll post submissions from friends and family, as well as one or more of my own haikus.

While still under the general (blood-covered) umbrella of horror, there's a little more leeway with Friday's work with respect to tonality.

And without further delay

Haiku Horror Presents

Friends and Family

J.W. Hastings observes...

A gleam in her eyes,
The straps bit deeper: he hoped
It was just a game.

Joseph Mader remarks...

Tender infant crawls
towards gleaming plugged-in nail gun.
Baby go bye-bye.

Andrew Cambria reports...

Corpses suspended
in water most putrescent
as he waits to eat.

Mary Phillips-Sandy declares...

Path through the deep woods
look, there's an empty cabin.
Let's open the door.

and...

Up the attic stairs
the old portraits all in dust.
Eyes are watching you.

and...

Lake-bottom dweller
he silent serpentine beast
It is time to feed.

RX Bizness speaks from the 'hood...

Tough night on the street.
Just made my first kill, nigga.
Fuck, I want nachos.

Nick Braccia, the proprietor of horror haiku, brings you...

Gummy, delicious,
green, chewy strips of slug meat.
Please sir, hold the salt.

An English boy asks,
“What’s in my granny’s knickers?”
She’s asleep. He peeks…

Enjoy your weekend.

3/2/06

2006-03-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

Baby’s tender scalp
gluttonous, guttural belch
Spoon the brain matter.

3/1/06

2006-03-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

Thick beard, crooked teeth,
malice enough for murder
and he's not yet six...

2/28/06

2006-02-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

Brown hairy spider
crawls inside dreaming boy’s mouth.
Lay a thousand eggs.

2/27/06

2006-02-27T07:57:00.000-08:00

From the driver's seat,
he turned to look at her face.
More bone than flesh now.

2/26/06

2006-02-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

When grandfather died,
the old books went to wee Tim.
Shame they did not burn.

2/25/06

2006-02-25T14:18:00.000-08:00

Tentacled menace
creeps down the backstairs and waits.
The girl drifts to sleep.